


you're not fine

by lynn_jpg



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Gore, Post-Canon, Post-Game(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28951053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynn_jpg/pseuds/lynn_jpg
Summary: "You've noticed it too, right? Like, I'm not the only one?... Gosh, he's just been acting so weird lately. He didn't even want to come to breakfast this morning."Post SDR2 in which Kazuichi's acting odd and reader starts to worry.
Relationships: Soda Kazuichi/Reader
Kudos: 37





	you're not fine

_kazuichi souda x gender neutral!reader_

_trigger warnings include: implied depression, mild descriptions of violence (remnants of despair acts) as well as implied ptsd. also, kazuichi does throw something at reader during a breakdown if that may also trigger you._

_______________

  
"Your hair's getting long again," you murmur, slowly threading your hair through your partner's fading pink locks. There's black roots creeping up at his scalp, transitioning into a less vibrant pink.

In front of you, Kazuichi Souda hums in response. You're not sure if he really heard you or not. While you sit on the edge of his bed, he sits on the floor in between your legs, occupied with one of his latest projects. He sticks his tongue out as he works, completely focused on his task.

"Hey, Kaz," you nudge his leg with your foot, trying to gain his attention. "Ya listening to me?"

He pauses in his work, blinking a few times. He cranes his neck to look at you. "Huh - uh, yeah, yeah. 'M listening."

You raise a brow, not entirely convinced. Either way, you shrug it off, continuing to play with his hair. Your fingers lightly scratch his scalp as you talk to him. "I just said your hair's getting long." You pull back a strand, examining the black roots. "You need me to help you dye it? I could cut it too."

The pink-haired male lets his head fall back into your lap so he's looking at you upside-down. He shrugs before avoiding your gaze. He lets his eyes close, muttering a quick, "I don't know."

Frowning, you pause in threading your fingers through his hair. "... You doing alright, sweetheart?"

Normally, he'd jump at the opportunity to redye his hair. He hated his black roots. If he couldn't get to a box of dye, he'd cover his hair up with a hat for as long as he could. This was out of character for him.

Kazuichi hums, lazily opening his eyes. "I dunno... Just tired, I guess."

You smooth back his bangs, examining his tired face. "Why don't you take a break, okay?" Maybe he'd just overworked himself. He's always been a bit of an insomniac. "Go take a nap for me, yeah?"

He nods, unusually silent. He gets up slowly and without any protest. He sets the project he was working on over on his nightstand. Then, Kazuichi slides under the covers of his bed, not even bothering to take off his day-clothes.

Getting up, you move to stand at his bedside. You lean over his body, cupping his cheek with a soft expression. "You want me to stay with you?"

"I'll be fine, baby," he says quietly. The mechanic avoids your gaze, choosing instead to close his eyes and let out an exhausted sigh.

After planting a kiss on his forehead, you head to the door of his cottage. You cast a glimpse back at him. He's curled up onto his side, covers pulled up to his chin. He doesn't look back at you.

"Come get me if you need anything, okay?" You tell him, features softening. "I love you."

The body under the sheets stays silent.

♥|♥|♥

  
"Will Souda not be joining us today?"

"Eh, I don't think so." You scrunch your face up in a mixture of concern and thought. Across from you, Sonia raises a brow in worry. You try to not let her reaction bother you, focusing on your chore.

There is a lot to be done on Jabberwock Island. The once popular tourist destination is now rundown, overgrown, and desolate. It's nothing like the bright, cheery, tropical paradise you'd grown used to in the Neo World Program. But that's what years of despair can do to a place.

After surviving the dreaded killing game you and your classmates had been subjected to, you woke up here, on the real Jabberwock Island. Now, with the Future Foundation having other tasks to accomplish, you and the rest of the survivors were to remain on the archipelago, taking care of your comatose classmates and fixing up the island.

You and the rest of the survivors spent your days working on chores. You, Sonia, and Kazuichi were supposed to be working together to help weed out the plants growing rampant in Jabberwock Park, but your boyfriend is no where to be found. You frown, thinking about the mood he's been in for the last couple of days. However, you had all exited the Neo World Program just a few weeks ago. It is normal to feel a little down. After all, most of your memories had come rushing back to you, and not all were pleasant.

"Hey Sonia," you call out, plucking another batch of weeds growing among the flowers. "Has Kazuichi been acting a bit... _different_ these past couple of days?"

You know that him and Sonia don't exactly have the best relationship, but she may still be able to offer some insight. After all, she is the heir to a great nation (or at least _was_ until she lead her kingdom into genocide). Still, her words typically held some power and wisdom to them.

"Now that you mention it, Souda has seemed a bit off lately," Sonia replies, lifting her head up to meet your gaze. "Normally, he's always volunteering to do something around here. Has he gotten sick?"

"I dunno." You let out a long sigh, thinking about his actions the last few days. "He keeps saying he's just tired, but I _know_ he's actually getting enough sleep. I dunno, maybe I'm just over-thinking it."

Sonia purses her lips, beginning to get to her feet. She dusts the dirt off her hands, looking at her work. "Perhaps you should mention this to the others. While I'm not particularly fond of Souda, his wellbeing is just as important as anyone else's." 

You give her a small smile. "Thanks, Sonia."

♥|♥|♥

"You've noticed it too, right? Like, I'm not the only one?... Gosh, he's just been acting so weird lately. He didn't even want to come to breakfast this morning."

The rest of the survivors, minus Kazuichi, are gathered in the hotel's resteraunt, eating breakfast. You explain your concern to them, rubbing your temple at a forming headache. 

"Now that you mention it, he has been a little more down lately," Hajime says, waving his fork around in the air. At least, you believe it's Hajime fronting. Izuru wouldn't have expressed the same concern towards the topic. "He didn't even want to come swimming with me and Fuyuhiko the other day."

"Maybe Shark Boy's just sick," Akane suggests, shoveling another mouthful of food into her face. During her time as a remnant, she'd lost a lot of weight. It is good to see her finally getting her appetite back. Her skeletal figure is filling back out into lean muscle. 

Pressing your lips into a firm line, you shake your head back and forth. "No, I don't think that's it. It's been like a week. Besides, he hasn't been coughing or throwing up or anything." You let out a huff, holding your head in your hands. "He just kind of sleeps all day. Doesn't even want me in the same room as him."

"You think he's depressed?"

Everyone in the room turns their head to look at Fuyuhiko. The yakuza member takes another bite of food before pointing his utensil at the group. 

He rolls his eyes (or at least, his good eye). "Come on, you've never even given that option a fucking thought? It's not out of character for him to be feeling that way, especially after all the shit we did during the... you know."

Fuyuhiko gives a long sigh, looking down at his plate. "Look, you remember how I was when Peko... It'd make sense for him to feel guilty about what happened. He's just processing it differently."

"Maybe we should try to wake Tsumiki," Sonia suggests. It was a possibility you'd all been considering ever sense the members of the Future Foundation left. They'd told you there was a good chance your friends would never wake up again, but they probably weren't counting on the fact you had Izuru - an actual genius - on your hands. 

"Even if we were to wake up Tsumiki, she's a nurse, not a psychiatrist," you tell the princess quietly. "Besides, she'd have her own shit to deal with first."

You all remember what hell you'd gone through for the first week or two after exiting the program. Flashes of memories would fill your head - some good, like your school days. Some bad, like what happened during the Tragedy. Even now, you don't have all of your memories. They'd slowly come back to you, bit by bit. 

"... Do you remember what happened to Souda during the Tragedy?" Akane asks you. Everyone at the table turns to look at you. 

"A little?" You admit with a shrug, not really sure where to begin. It was well known that you and Kazuichi had spent a lot of time together as remnants. However, you couldn't really remember much of it. Maybe that was a good thing. 

"... I dunno, the only really bad thing I can remember of us together was shooting down people in a tank," you murmur, wincing as you remember the sound of a rapid-fire machine gun echoing down the street. 

Hajime pauses, the gears obviously turning in his mind. "... You think he remembered something really bad? Something he did?"

The table falls silent. You still, willing your brain to try and think of something that would've caused such a sudden spiral. But all you can remember are the times spent with other remnants - bashing people's heads in with bats with Ibuki, laughing at people getting torn apart by dogs with Gundham... but nothing ever really bad with Kazuichi. 

Maybe your mind was purposely doing this to you, blocking out all the bad times so you'd only remember the good. It was creating this perfect world in your head that you knew you weren't apart of. Something bad happened, and you needed to figure out what. 

Excusing yourself from the table, to begin to head to your boyfriend's cabin. "I need to go talk with Kazuichi."

♥|♥|♥

"You're not telling me something."

Across from you, Kazuichi is silent. You both sit criss-cross on his bed. He's fiddling with an alarm clock in his hand, taking pieces apart and screwing them back together. He refuses to look at you in the eye. 

"Something happened," you state matter-of-factly. "I _know_ something happened."

"Nothing happened-"

"Yes it did!" You exclaim in exasperation. You grab his wrist, causing him to look at you. "I know something happened. This isn't you. You don't act this way. You don't shut yourself in your room all day, you don't sleep for fuck's sake. What's going on?"

He wrenches his wrist back, sliding off the bed and pacing to the other half of the room. "I'm fucking fine, okay? I'm fine, I'm just tired. You were the one yelling at me about not getting enough sleep, and now I'm getting too much? What do you want-"

"I want you to tell me why you're acting like this," you say, keeping your voice calm. You can see the way he's hands are shaking as he goes to mess with various tools on his table, grasping for something to keep his hands busy. You know he's teetering on the edge of some explosion, a rubber band about to snap. "If you just tell me what's going on, I can help you-"

" _I said, I'm fine!_ "

He whips around, chucking a wrench in your direction out of anger and furstation. Luckily, it misses you. Instead, it hits the window directly behind you, shattering the glass. You freeze in panic, knowing that if it was an inch closer, it's would've hit your face. 

Kazuichi stands there, panting as the anger slowly leaves his body. His eyes widen upon realizing what he's done, and he lets out a strangled sob, immediately falling to his knees. You are quick to rush to his side, careful not to touch him. You're not sure if that's what he needs right now. 

"I-I'm sorry!" He chokes out between gasps. He's pulling at his faded pink locks so tightly you think he's going to rip his own hair out. "I d-didn't mean t-to!" He collapses into full body sobs. 

You clench your hands into fists, struggling to keep them at your side. He doesn't want touch right now - you know that. It'll only make things worse. Still, you want to hold him and thread your fingers through his hair, whispering calming words. 

With a deep exhale, you give him a shaky smile. "I'm not mad," you tell him calmly, heart beating rapidly in your chest with adrenaline. "It was an accident. I know you didn't mean it." His cries slowly subdue into small hiccups. "I want to help you sweetheart, but I can't unless you tell me what's wrong."

Kazuichi's quiet for a moment, trying to regulate his breathing. You let him calm down, listening to the sound of his ragged breaths. 

He lets out a humorless laugh, bloodshot eyes peering up to look at you. "The first killing game... I-I built the executions. I caused all their deaths." He laughs in hysteria, running a inland through his hair. "It's all my fault, I-I killed them... _I killed them._ "

The mechanic collapses against you, crying out once more. Your hearts drops, and you pull him against you, rubbing up and down his back. He cries for what seems like hours, only stopping when his voice has gone too hoarse to continue. 

"... Do you think 'm a bad person?" He mutters against your shoulder where your top has been stained with tears. His voice cracks with all his crying 

You're quick to answer. You hold him tighter, kissing the top of his head. "I don't think you're a bad person, Kaz... I think you're a good person who was put into bad circumstances. You were manipulated - you didn't ask for any of this. Their deaths aren't on your hands. They're on Enoshima's. Not yours, not mine, not Sonia, not Hajime, not anybody's but Enoshima's.

"You're not to blame. None of us are. You did what you were forced to do. I know you'd never make that decision sober. Would a bad person make sure Akane's been eating enough everyday? Would a bad person already have a design to replace Nagito's arm? Would a bad person make sure that they would never in a thousand years hurt _me_?"

With your eyes glistening with tears, you continue. "You're not a bad person, Kazuichi. You could never be bad to me."

He buries his face in your shoulder, eyes unable to shed anymore tears. Instead, he gives a full body shudder, eyes shutting in exhaustion. 

"Thank you," he whispers hoarsely. 

"There's no need to thank me," you tell him softly. "It's the truth, and I'll tell you as many times as you need to hear it."

**Author's Note:**

> if there's any trigger warnings you think i missed, please let me know so i can properly tag it. this piece was not supposed to be so long, but i'm happy with how it turned out. i will also be cross-posting this on wattpad as i normally don't put x-readers on here!
> 
> i'm very happy with this piece, so i hope you are as well. please take care of yourself and get some rest!
> 
> also, talk to me on tumblr!  
> @abby-lynn-xx


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